Day 259...My Big Girl

Last week was hectic.  Not fun hectic, like parties and playdates, but annoying hectic like doctors and work.


But what I learned last week was...that it is official.  I swear it has happened so fast...it happened all at once...she just became big. McCall is growing up too fast.  It is as if we've been traveling down the same road from the day her slippery six-pound body was placed in my arms, and today that road abruptly ended and a new one began. It's a different road. She's a girl. Not a baby. Not a toddler. A kid...a BIG kid.  Let me give you an example...


report card.  She brought home a REPORT CARD!  "McCall is a pleasure to have in class."  I could have probably handled the report card, except for the fact that the dentist appointment last week revealed...



two loose teeth.  What. Is. Happening?  

I didn't have to stew so much on decisions regarding how to take care of this:

You pour your soul into them, hoping every internal thought and feeling of goodness and love seeps into every bone in their body, every cell in their frame so that they feel it...so that they know it...so that someday, when they are ten and they are big and they are beginning the journey down the new road, they will be equipped with everything they could possibly need to thrive.
I knew it was coming. I could feel it these last weeks...the way her sassyness is multiplying and her new found understanding of higher-level concepts is manifesting itself in new challenges.

She locks the door on us to keep us out of her bedroom. She asks questions we're not so sure how to answer. She gets embarrassed and her cheeks flush. She's not so sure having a pink blanket is cool anymore.

And I find myself thinking deeply more. I want to explain the world to her. To teach her kindness. To tell her why things happen in a way that makes her want to be good and loving. To show her by example that confidence is power...that the world is her oyster and she is its pearl. But she's sassy...sometimes mean.  She and I don't always see eye to eye.  I don't always know how to handle this which leads to late-night discussions with Rob where we review our day's parenting like a judge's panel. Probably shouldn't have given that to her. Maybe we should have said this... Did you see how sad she was? Did you hear what she said? Maybe I should have been harder on her. Maybe I was too hard.

And I guess you just have to trust that you are doing your best and that for every mistake you make, there are a thousand more victories. My parents did it (and did pretty good...thanks Mom & Dad), their parents did it, and so on and so on.  You grow in the fact that, in setting an example, in laying the foundation for your littles, you become better. You have to live what you want to teach them because the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and I want my apples to be good and kind, giving and understanding. I want my apples to be strong and independent and yet sensitive and tender-hearted. Yes, I will be a strong tree--so strong indeed that my apples can roll further and further away from me, exploring their world, and they will know my presence, quietly and assuredly.  I'm thankful that the "trees" in my life taught me this...and I guess I'm hopeful that I can get this through McCall's thick little head.

I say this all like I know what I'm talking about...like I have it figured out and it comes easy for me.

But then there was Monday...but there will always be those days. Hopefully, most days won't involve McCall going to the nurse only to inform her that she needed as bandaid because "my mom cut me, and it wasn't an accident".  By the way...I nicked her with my fingernail...and is was an accident.  Drama queen.

McCall, I love you. I am so proud of the girl you are becoming.  Oh, and the tooth fairy doesn't carry 20 dollar bills...just so you know!