Day 227...Happy New Year

*warning: long post to follow*

This year has been extraordinary.

This year has been painful and heartbreaking.

This year has been enlightening .

This year has unearthed hidden treasure within our family.

I feel blessed and content and excited to be writing a new and better story for our family.

I've gone to write this post about four times, and I ultimately pecked that backspace key to death over and over again.  It felt cliché’…perhaps inadequate every time. Because there's just so much.

And it's not just that this "big" thing happened to us. Angelman Syndrome is nothing compared to other defining moments that shift the worlds of so many. People all over have had much more dramatic jolting moments of truth that began beautiful stories.

It's more than that.

And I don't even really know what it is.

But this year, I have uprooted the deepest beliefs within me. I have questioned everything. I have spent hours thinking in the shower, driving in the car, lying in bed at night while everyone else sleeps. I have pushed myself to be more, to see more, to do more…for my family and kids…and for that I will be forever grateful for that push.

And I guess where I landed is not exactly in a world of answers but in a world of good questions. Questioning is good. It draws the best from us. It calls us to action. And somewhere, amid the action, I've realized the answers aren't even important anymore. Because where we are feels good. I am learning. I am striving to be more. I am loving, and that alone makes me happy.

Our world was a bit shaken this year, but slowly, it rebuilt. Strong and mighty.

And I am grateful for all the amazing mintues this year gave me. All 525,600 of them.

Oh, it was a good year…

And I know the New Year has so much to offer.  More learning, more growing, more opportunity to rise to the occasion.

Happy New Year. Wrap up all the richness of this year, tuck it away and embrace the amazing potential of this next year.

Day 226...the x-mas bomb

Our house looks like a bomb hit it. 5 days post Christmas and it’s still a disaster.  If someone rang our doorbell right now, I'd shout for everyone to freeze and lay down and pretend we're not home.  Yah, it’s that bad.

 

But here I am, amidst wrapping paper and boxes, toys and dogs…and I’m so happy.  Happy it’s over, but happy we made it work…together.  I always took for granted spending Christmas with your family, but with Rob having to work this year it became much harder to squeeze it all in.  But no worries, we did.

 

We sang songs…Bodie loved his rendition of “Jingle Bells”, which he unfortunately changed the words to “wiener bells”…oh, Bodie :)

We ate well.  We spent time together.  Santa treated us good.  All the kids got Pillow Pets!  As Bodie was going through his stocking, he pulled out a little notepad.  He inspected it…and then said “What the hell is this?”  It was the funniest thing ever…but also not really the Christmas message you dream of your kids saying when they see the loot Santa brought them.  So I guess it’s a good place to start with New Year’s resolutions…watch what I say around the kids.  *I’ll try*

Christmas was great.  Christmas Eve at Papa and Grandma Rene’s.  Christmas morning at our house with Bri Bri and Amber and Papa and Nanny…then off to Papa and Nanny’s for dinner with Papa Don.  Then Monday Christmas in Garden Valley with Papa Bob and Sue Sue.  SO.MUCH.FUN.

If you haven't noticed, I'm a sentimentalist. I know not everyone likes Christmas, and it can be a painful time for those who have experienced hurt and have difficulty defining the distinction between reality and idealism and all the blur in between. But the pain of life always makes the good stand out even more...like water rising above the oil.

We've cried this year. We've complained and cursed and cleaned up messes, just like everyone else. There are scuffs on our walls and bruises on our heart. But, in the end, there is good. And we know when to celebrate, and celebrate we do.

And all the efforts we put into this grand celebration...it was worth it. Every bit of it. Merry Fifth Day-after Christmas.