Rhys's 2nd Birthday!

I don't even know where to begin.
And so I sit here, just staring at the screen, wanting so badly to be able to take this storm of feelings and find words that are worthy.

 For starters, we'll use Bryan Adams'.   Yep...I'm going there.  Because these words are playing everyday I grab little man out of his crib...the moment I pull him close and kiss his head.

When you love someone, you'll do anything.
You'll do all the crazy things that you can't explain.
You'll shoot the moon. Put out the sun. When you love someone.


Rhys's 2nd birthday was a bit like his actual birth day--planned and prepped with anticipation of perfection. But like all things Vian, planning and prepping just doesn't make a difference.   It wasn't the way it was supposed to go but, turns out, it really was.








And while the house wasn't quite as ready for a party as I planned it to be...everyone came together and made it work (thanks Dad!). We had our village and our family. And that's all I ever need.

The rest is...well, cake...no carb/no sugar of course!

We all know what a birthday means.  A second birthday means he is no longer a baby, but a toddler. It's a medal of honor, a celebration, a flag at the peak of a summited mountain. It is a memory of that very day, and it is bittersweet. Mostly sweet, and a tad bitter...I struggled with the fact that Rhys didn't really comprehend that it was his birthday...his special day...and I hate that.  Like hate in the strongest sense of the word...it pisses me off.  Everyday is a funny, magical day to Rhys and I love that about him...but on his birthday I couldn't help but think about McCall and Bodie's 2nd birthday parties and be truly ticked off at that missing 15th chromosome.  Comparisons are not something I generally practice anymore, and I'm a little disappointed in myself... but nonetheless I held him close and cried at 7:25am.  Because I can't forget--don't want to forget--that second that changed my life.
No more Debbie Downer, just a moment of reflection and weakness...I'm allowed right?  Overall, I searched for moments of meaning and found them. I mined my heart for any rawness, any unsettled grief, and I guess I wasn't prepared to feel a bit sad.  But mostly? Mostly, I felt peace and love and contentment. The events of last couple of years have been sewn together seamlessly with our present, and I hardly recognize anymore where the past shifts into right now.

Happy Birthday to our beautiful, magical, much-loved little-man!


I keep coming back to this quote today...thank you Pinterest (I admit it I am very addicted...an intervention might be needed.)

Awareness born of love is the only force that can bring healing and renewal. Out of our love for another person, we become more willing to let our old identities wither and fall away, and enter a dark night of the soul, so that we may stand naked once more in the presence of the great mystery that lies at the core of our being. This is how love ripens us -by warming us from within, inspiring us to break out of our shell, and lighting our way through the dark passage to new birth. ~John Welwood

Basking in new birth today. Two days into his third year, and it's going to be good.

Feeling blessed and in love and grateful for every experience that continues to shape our family.

Better late than never...right?

I know, I know.  The little ol' Vian Party of Five blog has been neglected.  It's been awhile...a long while.  But we have been busy.  In fact busy might be an understatement!
We took a much needed relaxation vacation to the cabin in August.  It was beautiful and we had so much fun.  Both Bodie and McCall even rode the tube while Papa pulled them.  Bodie wanted to go faster, faster, faster and McCall screamed the entire time!

McCall and Bodie both started school.  McCall is learning so much in first grade, she truly loves school.  While the transition to her new school was mostly good, there is a nasty boy in her class who really bullies the kids around.  Wait 'till Bodie gets ahold of him :)

I pick my battles...snow boots in August are cool ya know!

Bodie goes to preschool 3 days a week, yippee!  He has actually brought home paintings and crafts this year and I am so excited!  Bodie broke in the new carpet yesterday with it's first blood stain.  He tripped, thanks to his sister, and split his head open real good on the doorway.  Seven stitches later, he is good as new!  He never cried until they gave him the numbing shot, but McCall hysterically cried the entire drive to the ER.

Rhys is doing fantastic.  With the exception of a broken finger (mother of the year right here!) we have stayed away from the doctors and hospitals for the longest stretch!  His seizures are down to a random on here and there, thank you very much ketogetic diet.  And I'm very happy to report NO ear infections since the tubes were placed.  He is doing OK in his glasses, it is a battle sometimes to keep them on...hence no pictures to show :) You'll just have to see him in person to catch a glimpse of his specs. 

We celebrated, well maybe not celebrated but observed, the anniversary of getting the Angleman's diagnosis.  I cannot believe it has been a year, but at the same time it seems like so long ago that I got that phone call.  What a long way we have come in that year.  Rhys is so close to walking...he is getting used to his walker that his physical therapist brought over.  Seizures are controlled and sleeping is, well sleeping is something we won't talk about.  Rhys has made such exceptional progress and is truly a wonderful little man.  Thank you all, the support he has around him is amazing.

Let's see what else....oh ya, we are finally MOVED IN!  Still a lot of work to do, but we are living here and loving the new house.  Just a few minor kinks on moving day, like 2 couches that won't fit downstairs and 1 stuck in the storage room, but it makes for a good story.  My dad has put in so many long hours here, I'm so lucky to have a handyman on speed-dial!  Pictures coming soon...or stop by when your in our next of the woods.

Off to do some painting and unpacking...more to come later!

Potential

In yet another moment of deep self-analysis this weekend, I realized I am addicted to the euphoria associated with potential. Actually, it was more a moment of justifying that my house is never fully clean, a fact I excused with the idea that if it was perfectly clean, I wouldn't feel that rush that comes with a good project. And this is true. There's something creatively motivating about walking through piles of clutter, kicking random misplaced toys, passing by the fifteenth binky that Rhys plucked out of his mouth and tossed aside. Because simultaneously, I'm excitedly planning future attempts at managing clutter, how I'll paint some great bookshelf for the misplaced toys or scour a thrift shop for an old green glass jar that screams "binky holder." I know that not far off, there is a marvelous day awaiting where I will feel motivated to attack the cupboards under my bathroom sink or touch up the base boards, and what will follow will be pure satisfaction, family and friends gathered around my dining room table...in an impressively immaculate house. My heart beats a little faster just thinking about it, even if presently I'm hopscotching across the few tile squares that aren't littered with a lone sock, a broken crayon, and a hairbrush that never made it back to the bathroom drawer (and never will).

I thrive on possibility, I feed on potential.  This is the only justification I can give myself to why we are in the midst of a massive home renovation.  Exciting.  Scary. Exhausting.  But I feel like this home is already home.  I feel incredibly lucky to get to live in a home my grandpa built in 1962...a home where Rhys can move around and the kids can ride their bikes in the cul-de-sac.  It is so worth it...the potential is amazing.

This is our "before" kitchen

"In Processes" kitchen

soon to be Master bedroom and closet

My garage full of crap...looks like ours now!

But the potential is why I start planning holidays in June, contemplating Halloween costumes in August, and dreaming of pumpkin bread and Christmas shopping and just how many light strands we'll dangle on our gutters this year, months before it's time...because the thought of what we can do to make this year better than last thrills me. And potential drives me like no other force can. Again, I'm only telling myself this to calm my inner voice screaming "what the hell have you gotten yourselves in to?!?!?"

So in true Vian fashion, we are steaming towards the light at the end of the tunnel.  The renovations are coming along (thanks Dad!), Rhys is doing WONDERFUL on the keto diet (down to no more than 5 seizures a day--worlds better than the 10-15 an hour he was having before), and Bodie's 4th birthday was a blast.  Also in true Vian fashion, I'm late posting pictures of our fabulous Hawaiian vacation.  But I have been busy:)

So why the randomness?  Don't know...that's just me.  But I do know that I am excited for the future.  I'm dreaming of room makeovers, DIY projects and thinking about the potential that dwells in the coming months: late summer entertaining, pre fall rituals, trying new recipes, a new school year, putting up the Christmas tree, setting new goals for Rhys, and creating new dreams. I love that this form of happiness is free, available to anyone and customizable to all talents, all incomes, all ways of life. Everyone has potential.

You know what makes me insanely happy right now? (Happy or just plain crazy, I'm not quite sure which.)
The fact that I have so much on my to-do list, I don't know what to do next. That's potential at its finest.

Here's what we are up to...

McCall, Bodie and Rhys,

We miss you guys...but we are having so much fun.  Check out these pics and be good for Papa and Nanny!

golf course at or condo

dadda and papa snorekeling

donkey balls store

sea turtles at the black sand beach

Love you guys!

Happy Father's Day

For Rob.

Nine years ago, I watched you enter the classroom from my corner of the room. I was on time, you were fashionably late...I didn't know you yet, but I knew I was supposed to. I am forever grateful to Mr. Bigelow for putting us in a group together...even though I did all the work :)

Little did I know you'd one day be the father of my own children. For all the years I dreamed of being a mother, I couldn't have picked a better mate to share the journey with me. I love our wild ride of parenthood, and when the steep hills come, I'm so glad you're by my side.

You are my best friend and partner in this crazy parenting ride.

We are far from perfect, yes. But for all the times you drive me crazy, I am so quickly reminded of the treasure you are. To be your child is to be lucky...so very lucky.

Happy Father's Day.

Catching up...

 

So things have been a little crazy around this joint.  Trips, work, Dr.'s, therapies, birthdays, and weddings.  Whew.  I'm tired.

So when I went through the camera I realized I needed to do a little more updating, and a little less insightful commentary as usual.  Hence the opening by rhino (from the Philadelphia Zoo).

The zoo was great, Rhys loved it, but our little Zoo Boise is pretty darn great compared to their "big city" zoo.  Keep up the good work Zoo Boise!

 We stayed at the Double-tree in Philly.  If you have never stayed at a Double-tree before, I would suggest RUNNING to the closest one and demanding a complementary fresh baked cookie.  Yes, I realize demand is a bit harsh, but they are so worth it.  My diet was out the window...and Mr. Rhys was impressed too.

 We did the tourist thing and it was great to see all the old historical buildings.

 Independence Hall was amazing.  SO moving to be standing where our country was founded, by some very inspirational men.  So much history...

Independence Hall courtroom

Where the Deceleration of Independence and Constitution where written and signed.

BEAUTIFUL staircase to the upper level of Independence Hall.

So after I got home, my Grandpa and Dad had a birthday.  Happy 25th  birthday Dad!

Then my baby girl turned 6 and graduated kindergarten all on the same day.  Wow.  She is an official first grader!

 Bodie had to have his picture taken too.  Jealous much?

 Then my demanding sweet 6 year old designed her own cake.  Yah, she designed it.  The girl knows what she wants.  And what she wanted was a butterfly cake.

 She was spoiled.  And her birthday wish came true.  She got to go swimming.

 Then there was this wedding.  My little brother got married!  We are SO happy for the new Mr. and Mrs. Smith...and I have a sister!

Yep, those are the fingers you think they are.  He is uncontrollable.  Good luck Amber.

So see, I've been busy.  And I forecast that our summer is about to get a whole lot busier!  We are in the middle of swim lessons and Hawaii is coming up soon :)

But time flies when your having fun...and we are.